I just don't think you understand Miss. Davis. Medication doesn't work. Talking about it makes it worse. When I lay in bed it's all I think about, so I don't want to sleep. When I'm awake it's all I can think about, so I don't want to be awake.
There is a level of drunkenness where I don't think about it as much but one drink after I reach that level I turn into the emotional drunk and it's 10 times worse than it ever was.
I've tried to start hobbies to help take my mind off of it but that always back fires. I got into bird watching, knew a lot of birds by name, Quallers, Biteens, Flursbords, and these are tough birds, but when I'd sit at the park and watch the birds and see the kids playing it would trigger memories and I'd have mental break downs in the park and that never goes over well. Imagine me, with my power and handsome looks, sitting in a park with a smile on my face, looking into the trees at the birds, and then all of a sudden there's snot coming from my nose, tears coming from my chin so heavily that they're not dripping to the ground, its a steady stream, a perfect straight line of tears connecting me to the ground. There, sitting on a park bench with my head in my hands and heaving like a convulsing homeless man getting tasered. All the while there's heaps of kids playing, while the parents of those kids talk shop about the stresses of life. Complaining to whoever will listen about how "Jason is mad at little Mickey because he is on the 2nd team basketball squad." And how her new $300 shoes are killing her feet.
I can't do much about it now Miss. Davis, but I can still eat and drink. I can recognize beauty in things still, I just don't care much to do so. I'm dropping weight like I'm on drugs. I have bags under my eyes. When people come by to chat I sit on the couch and try to carry on with them but I can't pay them any attention. And by the time I realize they're gone I don't remember them leaving.
So, can you help Miss. Davis?
There is a level of drunkenness where I don't think about it as much but one drink after I reach that level I turn into the emotional drunk and it's 10 times worse than it ever was.
I've tried to start hobbies to help take my mind off of it but that always back fires. I got into bird watching, knew a lot of birds by name, Quallers, Biteens, Flursbords, and these are tough birds, but when I'd sit at the park and watch the birds and see the kids playing it would trigger memories and I'd have mental break downs in the park and that never goes over well. Imagine me, with my power and handsome looks, sitting in a park with a smile on my face, looking into the trees at the birds, and then all of a sudden there's snot coming from my nose, tears coming from my chin so heavily that they're not dripping to the ground, its a steady stream, a perfect straight line of tears connecting me to the ground. There, sitting on a park bench with my head in my hands and heaving like a convulsing homeless man getting tasered. All the while there's heaps of kids playing, while the parents of those kids talk shop about the stresses of life. Complaining to whoever will listen about how "Jason is mad at little Mickey because he is on the 2nd team basketball squad." And how her new $300 shoes are killing her feet.
I can't do much about it now Miss. Davis, but I can still eat and drink. I can recognize beauty in things still, I just don't care much to do so. I'm dropping weight like I'm on drugs. I have bags under my eyes. When people come by to chat I sit on the couch and try to carry on with them but I can't pay them any attention. And by the time I realize they're gone I don't remember them leaving.
So, can you help Miss. Davis?
